101 Ways to Annoy a Sith Lord
by Danni Lea
Summary: 01 Ways is a multi-author series of one-shots - some connected, some not - all dealing in annoyig our favorite Sith Lords. Palpatine, Anakin/Vader, Grievous  though he wasn't technically a Sith was he? Hmmm , Dooku, and Maul all are included.


Emperor PalPal – er Palpatine – looked down at the Sith Lord kneeling in front of him. "Lord Vader. I sense that there are multiple force sensitive annoyances on a newly discovered planet in the Aevum Sector. Find them. Bring them to me."

"Yes, my master." Vader responded.

* * *

The AP final exam is a thing of horror. The class of 2013 didn't know that when they signed up for AP History 1, but they sure know it now. The furious scratch of pencil against paper was wrought with desperation as the 29 students tried to remember everything they had learned since August 24.

Suddenly, the theme from _Star Wars_ started to play as the one, the only, Darth Vader glides in. The room went silent for a second before it erupted into a cascade of cheering.

Frozen in surprise, Darth Vader turned and moved to march out when a raven-haired girl in the second row ran up to him, screaming, "TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

Without any further warning, the whole class began clinging to his Imperial Darkness, begging and pleading him not to leave them to the horrors of the AP final.

"I'll give you anything!"

"ANYTHING!"

"My soul. Here! TAKE IT!"

"Whatever you want!"

"Um…I think we broke him," stated a young brunette girl, who was standing next to a tall dark haired boy. His green-grey eyes flickered to the raven-haired girl that started the 'game' of tackle-the-evil-Sith-Lord-whom-has-saved-us-from-the-exam.

"Yeah, probably," The boy replied.

The girl turned to look at their teacher – and elderly man who was staring at the ceiling and shaking his head in fond exasperation – and asked, "Sense this _ist _– is, sorry – seventh period, can I use my phone to text Will and Dan? They'll never forgive me if I don't tell them about this and get pictures."

"Might as well, Lea."

"Thanks Mr. Flick!" With that, Lea pulled her phone out and in no time had sent a message to two of her friends, a few members of her family and began snapping pictures of the Vader being mobbed by 27 high school sophomores.

The boy, Drei, had pulled out a piece of paper and began studying the lyrics of a J-Pop song.

The raven haired girl (ironically named Ravyn) was currently hanging off of the Sith Lord's neck and begging him to "save us all from this juvenile torture facility!"

With the exception of Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, interrupting their AP Exam, it was an all around normal day for trio.

Vader had decided he had had enough of these…_children_ (he used the term very, very loosely) using him as a jungle gym. By some miracle he managed to pry the monkey from his neck and as he once again moved to storm out of the room, he sensed three small flickers of Light in the force, tinged with amusement, joy, and fond exasperation. Ever so slowly, he turned his head and pinned Lea, Drei, and Ravyn with his stare.

"_You."_ Surprisingly the three teens froze and stared back. After about three seconds of the staring contest, Lea quirked an eyebrow and said, "You blinked." Her companions immediately cracked up laughing. Ravyn's laugh was some demented squeak, while Drei's laughter was only obnoxiously loud.

With a growl, Vader used the force to throw the three Force-sensitive brats out the door, one screaming "MY TIC-TACS!" Stalking up to the three he explained as plainly as he could (he was sure their combined IQ didn't even reach a hundred) that they were going with him.

Lea and Ravyn's eyes immediately filled with tears and together they tackled him screaming, "But, Ani! We don't wanna go!" Drei started shouting at him in a mixture of Japanese, Spanish, and Korean. Vader froze and stared at the only two speaking English. _How did they __**know**__?_

It didn't help that Lea looked startlingly like Padme (1).

With a growl, he stormed off, force dragging the three stricken teenagers behind him.

* * *

With a groan, Will slid back a few feet. His sparring partner, Nick, had just given him a sidekick to the stomach.

_Cats, I'm a kitty cat. And I dance, dance, dance, and I dance, dance, dance._ Will broke his concentration for a moment to look at his phone, and promptly got hit in the head.

"Pay attention you idiot," said Nick. "We only have about twenty minutes 'til the bell rings." Will didn't hear him. He was to busy staring at his phone in shock.

"LEA SAW DARTH VADER!" Will rubbed his head as he picked himself up from the ground. He glanced around wildly and froze. Walking past the courtyard (known to the students as the Crow's Nest) was Vader himself.

And stumbling along behind him were Lea, Ravyn, and Drei.

"Nick, we gotta save 'em," Will cried as he ran for the group. Nick sighed heavily as he followed the idiot.

Skidding to a halt in front of the Dark Lord, Will dropped into a ready crouch when he found himself flying back to join Lea, Ravyn, and Drei. Nick took one look and simply walked back to join the group of his own volition.

"Idiotic monkeys."

"Oi! We take offense at that!" Vader turned his head to stare at the scowling Lea.

"Another staring contest? Really? Dude, get some new material," Ravyn snorted.

"He blinked again," Drei remarked dryly.

In five minutes, five unconscious teens had been loaded onto Vader's shuttle and it blasted away from the only home the teens had ever known.

* * *

1- Long brown wavy-ish brown hair, dark brown eyes. No actual relation.

_Danni Lea: So, this is _four months late _for multiple reasons_

_ItsOnlyForever: ME! I'm one of 'em! –beams-_

_Danni Lea: She's the main reason actually._

_ItsOnlyForever: I'll admit it….MY TIC-TACS!_

_Danni Lea: …_


End file.
